WWDC Things No One Is Talking About

Apple’s World Wide Developer Conference started on Tuesday morning Australian time.

As ever, the Senior Vice Presidents of Everything got together and for over two hours presented new things that would be coming the fruit company’s devices over the next 12 months.

As tends to be the case every time Apple does this, all the announcements have been written up everywhere by everyone.

Millions of words have been published about the best and most useful things coming to your iPhone, iPad and Mac.

But now I’m catching up on the presentation itself – I am not getting up at 3am to watch something like this, I’ll do it a few days later over a coffee – I’m noticing that there are a more than a few things that no one is talking about.

And they should be.

Apple Karaoke

Literally the first or second thing Tim Cook introduced was the ability to put song lyrics from Apple Music on your TV through tvOS on the AppleTV or on your phone.

Now, yes, this isn’t new. Dingy bars in back alleys have had this functionality for decades now.

That’s not going to make millions of house parties around the world absolutely fucking tedious.

It’s a screensaver but it’s UNDERWATER

Underwater Screensavers

Fuck yeah screensavers! You know those things you don’t tend to ever see because….it’s not the 90s anymore?

Well for AppleTV they’re now going to have UNDERWATER SCENES. That’s right. They took cameras and put them UNDERWATER to film things like FISH and OTHER UNDERWATER THINGS.

Very excite.

Something About Emoji

Me dinkus

There was something about emoji but I wasn’t listening because the first part of this section was about creating your own.

Which is something I didn’t know you could do.

So I went and made my own, not listening to the entire thing. Look, it’s probably pointless.

But here’s my dinkus. Cool, eh?

I’m Afraid I Can’t Do That Dave

Siri is going to kill us all, and have a really natural-sounding voice while it does.

Microsoft Word is “very enterprise-y”

Behold Cregg and his enterprise. (image pilfered from cultofmac.com. please don’t sue)

iPadOS (the iPad-specific fork of iOS introduced as part of this presentation) lets you have two Microsoft Word documents side-by-side.

Cregg (Craig, but said in the Seppopotamian way akin to everyone’s favourite chewable glue from primary school) describers this as “very enterprise-y”. And he’s right. Microsoft Word is the most enterprise thing that has ever been imagined.

Twitter hates their users

As part of Project Catalyst (which brings the ability to easily port iPadOS apps to MacOS so they can be used on your computer, not just your tablet) Cregg showed off a Twitter app spun off from their iOS app and a short spiel about how Twitter was excited to bring their app back to the Mac.

Two things.

First, Tweetdeck has always been available as a Mac app. I use it. It’s not great, but it works and does most of the things I want it to do. I can only presume they’re going to kill that off.

Second, Twitter pointed out one that one team can now look after all their Apple-related apps. So obviously some people are no longer going to have jobs.

Third, Nazis, I’m guessing, are still a-ok as far as Twitter is concerned.

It really is a bad website.

Augmented Reality Still Is Only Ever Used As A Demo of Augmented Reality

Everyone will do this for two weeks and then never again.

Remember how you can measure things using the camera on your phone?

Yeah.

This year it’ll be Minecraft. You’ll play it for three weeks, there will be news stories about how it’s ruining people’s lives but come Christmas everyone will have forgotten it even existed.

AR is a bit like blockchain and 5G. No one really knows what problem it solves or what it’s use case is. But it’s cool and shiny and absolutely we must poor resources into it.

Dub Dub

Nope. Just fucking nope.

Shit. Wait. I should have done this as a power rankings. FUCK. Too late.

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