This piece was originally published on the previous version of this site, which is more than likely lost to the annals of history because I have absolutely no idea how to internet properly. It was originally published in November 2013 and is republished now because I thought it was funny.
The digital age is well and truly upon us, and there are thousands of businesses and individuals out there who have yet to grasp the power that is sitting at their fingertips.
The rise of social media in a connected society offers everyone on the planet a chance to expand their community beyond what they currently know and gives them the opportunity to pivot their local knowledge into a massive online village the like of which no one has ever had the ability to fully comprehend.
So how do you get some of that action? How do you leverage your business into a social cloud in order to tap a potential market of billions of engaged consumers?
Well, I am here to help.
Hi there. My name is Bernie and I am going to show you how you can create for yourself an engaged audience that will, just by its very existence, boost your SEO rankings in such a way that they will be immune to any changes in Google’s rankings algorithm. All you need to do is sign up for my online course.
For the almost criminally cheap price of 4x $600 instalments (paid in one lump sum), I will give you the tools you need to unlock the social cloud and make yourself an online engagement star.
How does it work?
Generating engagement in the social cloud, which then leads back to networked consumers visiting your website, is all about surfacing content.
Once you learn the secrets to surfacing the right content, you will soon find yourself on a hyperfast path to becoming a leading thinkfluencer within your now global community of consumers, who are hanging on your every engaging communication.
What is a “thinkfluencer? It sounds like something you just made up!
Firstly, stop the prescriptivism. English is an ever-evolving language and it is only natural that you will come across some new words that may, at first glance, frighten you with their unbridled potential and raw power.
Power on the social web is derived from two separate yet equally important things. Being considered a “thought-leader” and your ability to “influence” those around you. Combining them effectively is considered by every expert in this field to be the holy grail of effective, leveraged engagement.
So what do you become if you bring the power of thought leadership and influence to your social conversations online? A thinkfluencer; a person that no one can ignore.
In essence, you become the conversation. And that, my friends, is the ultimate networked power.
OK. So what will your course cover?
So, so much. The variety of topics covered in my course will blow you away. This is reason why I should probably be thrown in gaol for offering it at the ridiculously cheap price I am. Here’s just a taste of what you will learn on your way to becoming a global thinkfluencer with my course:
- ROI: Real Online Interactivity – these are the secrets to creating truly memorable content.
- Press Releases – How to pivot your newfound social cloud power back into the traditional media for additional traction.
- Auditing – Making sure you continue to smash those KPIs.
- Monitoring – You can’t spell analytics without anal and that’s what you’ll become once we show you how to look at a variety of numbers designed specifically to measure the effectiveness of your conversations.
- SEO/SMO – Social Engagement Orifices and Social Management Organisations. Knowing when and how to deploy these tools is a fundamental skill of the cloud paradigm.
- Strategies to ensure that month after month you maintain your position as a key thinkfluencer within your global community or local industry.
- Revenue models for the digital conversation matrix.
- Measurement of your influence circle against industry standard metrics. This ensures not know that your strategies are actioning their objectives, but also works as a check to ensure the accuracy of your analytics as part of the open and transparent auditing process.
There’s many, many more, but I don’t want to be giving it all away just now.
Also, if you sign up for our postgraduate, ongoing consultation service (a pathetic $200/hr for a weekly 4 hour catch up, billed annually), you’ll receive a special set of courses targeted at specific social conversation platforms. Including:
- Reddit – It Can Solve Crimes, Imagine What It Can Do For Your Business
- Advanced Bitstrips – Captivating Cartoons Convert Conversations To Cash
- Hashtag Games – Replace A Word In a Book Title, Replace A Lose With A Win
- And many, many more.
And what are your credentials, exactly?
I have been involved in the Internet and engagement with global audiences for over half my life. In that time I have amassed an impressive collection of social media accounts and online personas.
Since 2008, when I first started analysing the power of thinkfluencing and devising this life-changing course, the size of my conversation audience has expanded in a way that would boggle most mathematicians.
The important thing is, getting the wrong advice in social cloud engagement could cost you your life.
Do it once. Do it right. Do it with me.
Get in contact and soon you will be on your way to becoming the next big thinkfluencer.